BECAME OUR BIGGEST SIN

I read through old messages, incidents long gone
I remember what was said and the glances in between breathing
And I wonder what the hell have I done
I wake myself sometimes from this life to be reminded that you are
not you
Not any more.
You knew about the dreams I had.. tried to live up to them
To become someone I adore.
But the strain of change was just to much, no one acts forever.
You're gone now but the dream says "never say never"
Your face should not be a resemblance of the rising sun
You are cold and dark and WEEK and made a believer out of me
What the HELL have you done
I reach out to grab you by your face and spit fire down your throat
I refrain.
The words are engaged in my mind and bring hope that you'll
Become a god again.
You have proved your Love to someone else
At any cost
And left me in a daze. I found myself confused.
And lost.
I see it now, it was all so trivial really, the promises were made for fun
And in the end those who laugh loudest cries the most
What the hell have I done
To Myself and to our loved ones who only bought us so much joy
and laughter
I hate them for hating me for hating you because I'll love you
For ever and ever.
We go on now and nothing ever happened
and we are FREE
To live and LOVE and walk the conventional path
and cover our faces to what we see
What the hell, was it really worth it?
To lose and 'loose' and never win
The little bit of the world we got a glimpse of?